So I'm not sure how many of you are opera fans but I absolutely love the opera. Operas are, in general, tragic and dramatic. When they are well-done they can send chills up your spine or make you bawl your eyes out. This, however, was NOT my reaction 4 years ago when I watched the opera "Aida" at the main theater in Freiburg. As a matter of fact, I wanted to poke my eyes out, as I could not believe what I was seeing on stage.
The story of Aida, for those of you who don't know it, is about a pair of forbidden lovers in Egypt,that after jealousy of a king's daughter, a war, and being prisoners, finally meet their tragic end by being buried alive together. It is all highly tragic and very romantic. Any fool knows that you don't mess with that....it is good shit.
I was very excited that I had finally talked a few of my friends into going to the opera with me. I even managed to get two guys to come along after I convinced them it would not shrink any sexual organs. All four of us got dressed up and arrived at the opera ready to see a wonderful show. I did give them a small briefing on the plot, just so they had something to go off of.
The opera started and I was slightly confused. Was I in the wrong theater? Did the tickets somehow say the wrong opera. What I was looking at as the curtains rose was not ancient Egypt, hell, it wasn't modern Egypt, instead, it was a grocery store. I shit you not. A GROCERY STORE!!!! The actors came on with shopping carts and pretended to be buying things as Aida ran the register. Some people were walking around in what I would call typical Egyptian garb while others had on sparkly nightclub outfits. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on, but it most certainly was not an opera. Then suddenly, the daughter of the king shows up dressed up like Ms. America (still in the supermarket, mind you) and had one of her servants in tow......who happened to look like Frankenstein with an Egyptian flair. He wore a skirt instead of the traditional grey pants. But this would be the only thing that distinguished him from the beloved HORROR FILM character. I look over at this point, at my friends and they all had very confused looks on their faces. I don't blame them because I was tempted to run up on stage, sing an aria and go through the check-out line to return an item...my student ticket that cost me 8 Euro.
The mayhem continued throughout the first act with misplaced costumes, strange props, and of course, Frankenstein in drag. The other unfortunate thing was that these things were so distracting that it took away from the actual music that was being played and sung. It didn't matter who was singing or how great the orchestra really was, all I could think about was how did all of this crap fit together. Then my wondering just turned to anger and I thought about what kind of idiot would do such a thing. Finally, the first act ended and we went outside for intermission.
I drank a glass of champagne and then another. I figured that maybe it would at least turn off the part of my mind that wanted to hunt and kill the director of the opera. My friends also had a few glasses because I am pretty sure they were figuring that the opera sucked but at least they could get drunk. After telling them that this was most certainly NOT normal, we went back in to the opera formerly known as "Aida"
And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. It became an MTV music video. Suddenly there were strobe lights and half-naked children break dancing on stage. Of course, Egyptian Frankenstein wasn't too far away from the action. It all felt very perverted and blasphemous. I'm sure that Guiseppe Verdi was turning in his grave as we watched his opera being torn to bits of modernity that made absolutely no sense. At the end of the opera, when normally, every woman in the theater is sobbing, I could only sit there and writhe with anger. I wanted Aida to die. I thought to myself....yeah, hide yourself in the crypt with your "buried-alive lover" and suffocate...I don't care. You deserve it...oh yes, and take Egyptistein with you, and most importantly the artistic director. Yes, seal him up in there, too. I started to read the program to find the other guilty persons that should be walled up with the two main characters. Gunter Schleppheim, costume designer...most certainly. Ingrid Mueller, lighting design....oh yes. Before I knew it, I was being dragged out by my friends. They were trying to comfort me by saying it was "sort of funny and entertaining" Since when do you describe the opera "Aida" as funny? This, my friends, was the tragedy. A wonderful opera, ruined...tragic.
My boss asked me today if I wanted to go to the opera on Sunday with the rest of my co-workers. I asked which opera. To which she replied, "Aida" I smiled and said, "sure" while at the same time trying to hide the traumatic flashback of the opera in Freiburg....Jesus, I hope I don't dream of Egyptistein and his break dancing kids.
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